Friday, June 18, 2010

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Jim!

Just know that your life had a meaning.
Every life has a meaning,
whether it lasts one hundred years
or one hundred seconds.
Every life and every death
changes the world in its own way.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Jim!
Or Happy Birthday, "Pa Jim" as Alex says it!

These days are always difficult.  Important days that should be celebrated.  And instead of celebrating with a nice dinner, cake, ice cream and the guest of honor, I am remembering birthdays in the past, sending up balloons to heaven and eating a cupcake in his honor.

On days like this it hurts knowing that he won't be here for any future birthdays.  It takes my breath away to know that he will forever be 48, never getting to welcome his 50's (or beyond).  A huge part of me left on October 22, 2005 and days like today remind me just how big that part is.  I am sad today and missing him so very much.  

I miss my dad.  I miss everything he was and everything he could be. My dad was an incredible man.  He was patient and kind.  Determined and intelligent.  Compassionate and loving.  A wonderful husband and amazing father.  He was not perfect, but he could do no wrong in my eyes and I was his princess.  I miss him with everything in me! 

I am blessed to be his daughter and everyday I try to make him proud.  Today, I will remember him with loving memories  We will remember him not for the man that we lost, but for the man that we were lucky enough to know.  I will show Alex pictures and tell my son about "Pa Jim" (the same son that has his Grandpa's icky feet and terrible cowlick on the crown of his head).  

Alex and I got 2 balloons to send up to my dad.  I think he will like at our choices - Mickey Mouse from Alex (one of Alex's favorite cartoon characters) and a "Happy Birthday" one from me.  Alex, Larry and I are going to have a Publix cupcake and sing him "Happy Birthday" - something that he would have definitely enjoyed.  I like having these traditions - I would trade anything to have them here, but for now celebrating with balloons, cupcakes and memories will have to do!

Happy Birthday, Dad!  You are loved, missed and thought about everyday!  Celebrate in heaven and know that we are celebrating you on Earth.  Hug Mom for me and remind her how much I miss her, too!  Thank you for being MY dad.  I love you so much!

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