Thursday, May 7, 2009
Love begins in a moment, grows over time, and lasts for eternity. ~Anonymous
Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence. ~Vincent van Gogh
In a time when people struggle to stay married longer than a year or two, my parents would have celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary today. The mere thought of that makes me smile and makes me so proud!
My parents weren’t perfect and they didn’t have the perfect marriage. They loved each other in spite of their flaws and celebrated the fact that they weren’t perfect. They had their ups and downs, good times and bad times, trials and triumphs, but through it all they stood by each other. They took the vows “for better or for worse” seriously and didn’t give up when times got tough. They stood together, side-by-side, facing whatever problems came along and because of that they were able to withstand anything that came their way.
My Mom and Dad loved each other so much and it was obvious to everyone around them. They worked to make their marriage strong – and it wasn’t something that they took for granted. Growing up, I never really remember them arguing. Not because they didn’t argue, but because they held strong to their belief that arguments were between the two of them, not for anyone else to be involved with. I liked that they sheltered me from that and I try to continue that within my own marriage.
Growing up, I never doubted two things: my parents loved each other and they loved me, both were unconditional and everlasting! I felt safe and secure knowing both of those things and I can only hope to give my child(ren) the same feeling.
I wonder how they would be celebrating today. Would they be having a quiet dinner at home? Would they go out to some restaurant? Would my Dad bring my Mom home flowers? Or better yet, would he surprise her with flowers sent to the house? Would my Dad give my Mom some extravagant present (meanwhile Mom would say that it was too much, but secretly love it)? Would my Mom give Dad something practical or give him something totally unexpected? While I wonder about all these “little things” that they would do to celebrate the day, I whole-heartedly know that they would be celebrating the love that they share and the memories made during the past 32 years.
There are times when I miss the both of them so much it hurts. I sometimes can’t understand why God didn’t let one of them stay with me. Why one of them can’t be here to comfort me when I miss the other and why one of them can’t be here to share in the important moments of my life? However, it is in those times that I am comforted by the fact that neither one of them has to experience a life without the other. My Mom and Dad had been together so long, that their lives were intertwined. Their lives were woven together so incredibly that they became one. God saw this and knew that they wouldn’t be able to live without each other. God knew that neither one of them could have lived with the pain of losing the other. God knew that taking them together was the best thing for THEM! It hurts more than I can ever explain to be left here without them, but watching either one of them suffer without the other would have hurt even more. They are together, proving that love is everlasting and unconditional.
Happy 32nd Anniversary, Mom and Dad! Thank you for showing me what a marriage is. Thank you for allowing me to grow up never having to worry about the two of you and your marriage. Thank you for showing me that life won’t always be easy, but standing by your spouse will always make things easier to withstand. Thank you for showing me what unconditional love is. I miss you both more than you will ever know, but take comfort in the fact that you are together. I love you!